I was recently spoken to about something I had said about someone else, and also spoken to as to being overbearing with a members spouse. I understood why they might have thought that, and one reason, is because their conviction to Christ, or for Christ, isn’t what mine is. I want to deliver a good, strong, meaningful sermon, that will lead others to Christ, not something that will cause discord among the brethren.
As a new preacher, that is to say, one who is inexperienced, I want to help you move down the road to eternal life, not one to badger you into the back row, then out the door before I have an opportunity to shake hands with you.
"Promoting one another to love and good works.” To me that has a sense of, " I’m not up here to tip toe around your feelings so you want to come back.” But we are all rebuked at one time or another I believe, and at the end of the day, we can and should still love one another, just as He has loved us.
My husbsnd left me four years (at least) before divorce (his choice, not mine) by having an affair at least for four years until I confronted him. I lived my life with a narcistic spouse for 32 years, not fully understanding why he “was the way he was”…he was always right, I was always wrong, I was the one who needed “help”, I was blamed for everything, I could do nothing right. He called the shots, made all the decisions, he justified himself even when it was apparent he was responsible for certain problems between us…I could go on and in. It took two years of therapy after he left me (divorce) to realize how narcistic he truly was…
So, yes, I know how a narcistic person treats others… I was unable to cause him to change…that is not possible as he needed to decide for himself to admit he had problems and then decide to make necessary changes in his life.
Didn’t happen. He chose to deny his problems, refused to take any responsibility at all.
Thus, there was nothing I could ever do to “fix” us, due to his denial and refusal to consider changes he needed in his own life.
I understand that…I am focusing on being the Christian I need to be, and am striving to overcome my low self esteem brought about by his narcistic behaviors. Never will I give up on influencing and encouraging others in my Christian walk.
Being able to "name" something is very important, which is why there are biblical descriptors for most if not all of the ways people are broken.
A passage that is particularly helpful in the case of narcissism is 2 Timothy 3, which describes those who are "lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, slanderers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good, 4 treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, 5 holding to a form of godliness although they have denied its power; avoid such people as these. 6 For among them are those who slip into households and captivate weak women weighed down with sins, led on by various impulses, 7 always learning and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth."
The passage goes says..."avoid such men as these"..."for they will proceed from bad to worse" and "all Scripture is inspired by God." That means that this inspired word will guide you to be able to clearly see who people are, not just who you want them to be, and respond accordingly.
To learn more, check out this article from With You in the Weeds
I was recently spoken to about something I had said about someone else, and also spoken to as to being overbearing with a members spouse. I understood why they might have thought that, and one reason, is because their conviction to Christ, or for Christ, isn’t what mine is. I want to deliver a good, strong, meaningful sermon, that will lead others to Christ, not something that will cause discord among the brethren.
As a new preacher, that is to say, one who is inexperienced, I want to help you move down the road to eternal life, not one to badger you into the back row, then out the door before I have an opportunity to shake hands with you.
"Promoting one another to love and good works.” To me that has a sense of, " I’m not up here to tip toe around your feelings so you want to come back.” But we are all rebuked at one time or another I believe, and at the end of the day, we can and should still love one another, just as He has loved us.
TLS
My husbsnd left me four years (at least) before divorce (his choice, not mine) by having an affair at least for four years until I confronted him. I lived my life with a narcistic spouse for 32 years, not fully understanding why he “was the way he was”…he was always right, I was always wrong, I was the one who needed “help”, I was blamed for everything, I could do nothing right. He called the shots, made all the decisions, he justified himself even when it was apparent he was responsible for certain problems between us…I could go on and in. It took two years of therapy after he left me (divorce) to realize how narcistic he truly was…
So, yes, I know how a narcistic person treats others… I was unable to cause him to change…that is not possible as he needed to decide for himself to admit he had problems and then decide to make necessary changes in his life.
Didn’t happen. He chose to deny his problems, refused to take any responsibility at all.
Thus, there was nothing I could ever do to “fix” us, due to his denial and refusal to consider changes he needed in his own life.
Narcissism is very real.
Well, I didn't say it isn't real. I said it doesn't absolve anyone of God-given duty if another person is a narcissist.
I understand that…I am focusing on being the Christian I need to be, and am striving to overcome my low self esteem brought about by his narcistic behaviors. Never will I give up on influencing and encouraging others in my Christian walk.
Just felt the need to share my experience.
Being able to "name" something is very important, which is why there are biblical descriptors for most if not all of the ways people are broken.
A passage that is particularly helpful in the case of narcissism is 2 Timothy 3, which describes those who are "lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, slanderers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good, 4 treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, 5 holding to a form of godliness although they have denied its power; avoid such people as these. 6 For among them are those who slip into households and captivate weak women weighed down with sins, led on by various impulses, 7 always learning and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth."
The passage goes says..."avoid such men as these"..."for they will proceed from bad to worse" and "all Scripture is inspired by God." That means that this inspired word will guide you to be able to clearly see who people are, not just who you want them to be, and respond accordingly.
To learn more, check out this article from With You in the Weeds
https://www.withyouintheweeds.com/p/managing-the-roots-and-weeds-of-narcissism