Why I Won’t Be Encouraging My Sons Toward Ministry

A questionable system

As a graduate of a preaching school who spent nearly a decade in full-time pulpit ministry, I am well aware of the importance of the work of preachers. I still preach and teach regularly where I attend. The church needs preachers and teachers, and as more people like me continue to leave pulpit jobs, that need will only grow.

Having said that, I will encourage my sons to pursue work in other fields when they grow up. If they grow to be gifted in teaching the Word, I will push them to grow their knowledge and serve the church by filling in where needed. But I don’t believe the current system would set them up for long-term success in the kingdom, and I’m not sure it’s the best option for the church, either.

(Note—this is not a critique of pulpit ministers, as many fine men fill the roll. It is also not a complaint about working with Christians. Yes, there are countless horror stories about mistreatment of ministers, but I was blessed to experience little of that. Christians are overwhelmingly kind people. My focus is strictly the pulpit-filling system under which churches generally operate.)

A few reasons why…

Supporting a family

Ministry is not about getting rich, I’m well aware. Nobody enters the pulpit with designs on locking down a mansion with a Ferrari parked out front. But a worker is worthy of his wages, and those wages make it rather hard to raise a family to any degree of comfort.

Taking on secular work as a supplement can be a good idea, but some congregations aren’t comfortable paying what they do to a man who will have other obligations. Whether spoken or unspoken, some other congregations shamefully expect the preacher to either live in near poverty or send his wife out to support him and the family.

I understand that serving the Lord requires sacrifice. I am not a fan of how much sacrifice it requires of wives and children, many of whom grow to resent the church for it.

I pray my sons will find godly wives who can stay home and educate the children they have together, and that’s exceedingly hard at today’s salaries. Shrinking churches don’t figure to make the problem any better in coming years.

I highly admire those who fill pulpits, but I think in the next generation we need to find better solutions for the family.

The ladder

The money shortfall creates another problem—small, often rural churches are usually stepping stones toward bigger churches with more resources.

I am not accusing anyone of having carnal motives. Again, nobody enters the ministry for the money, and every preacher job move is driven by numerous factors.

When the options are to stay committed to a congregation and try to make it work on a $40,000/year salary as your family grows, or start applying for openings at bigger congregations, the squeeze gets real.

But the longer a person stays somewhere and the more time they have to build relationships, the more effective they can be. In the current system, though, the blessing of faithful labor becomes new job opportunities, not long-term stability. And the small church knows they are the “farm team” preparing the young hand for bigger and better things.

Roots

I’m blessed to spend every Sunday morning seated on a pew with my brother and his family in front of me and my parents behind me. I cannot force my sons to do anything, but I will strongly encourage them to keep their roots near home so they and their families can have the same continuity.

One of the big lessons of the 2020s is that roots matter. Being from somewhere matters. We’re not all transient, interchangeable pieces. When we have a love for where we’re from and the people around us and the grounding of family and decades-long friends and mentors, we’re far more incentivized to put our noses to the grindstone and stay locked in. Moving every 5 years is not conducive to such commitment.

This goes hand in hand with my theory that outsourcing preacher training has left the church unable to train any leaders, creating our lack of elders. And sending our best young products across the country for school where they’ll find jobs that take them even further afield contributes even more to the problem of small churches losing their young to bigger, more centrally located churches.

Timothy and Titus weren’t locals in Ephesus or Crete, but a big part of their task was to train and assign Ephesians and Cretans to lead, teach, and protect the church. You might not always have a professional from the outside available for hire. The church needs to become self-sustaining.

Growing into a role in one’s home congregation, where there is real skin in the game, and taking on the challenge of carrying the baton from one’s parents and passing it to one’s children, perhaps even being a multi-generational family of elders? There’s a beauty and depth there that can’t be mimicked by the pulpit shuffle.

Filling a need

There are differing opinions as to whether any man is “called” to ministry, but it’s undeniable that some have been gifted in ways that can help the church. But, Biblically speaking, our gifts were given to fill clear needs. God blessed people with gifts aimed toward serving the common good (1 Corinthians 12:7).

Under the current system, a man decides to go into ministry, goes to school to learn the Bible and necessary skills, and then goes hunting for a church in need of a man. The church’s leadership group considers different resumes for the job, then entrusts the church to the stranger who gave the best impression over one or two visits.

As a preacher, it’s a meat grinder of a process. Souls are at stake and we’re waiting for a call back. It can’t be easy for elders, either. They’re committing their congregation’s direction to a man they hope they’ve read correctly. I can’t help but think there’s a better way.

Maybe that way would be identifying our own who have been gifted toward teaching the Bible, then investing in them to the point they are able to serve the church in that way. Entrusting the Word to faithful men who can teach others, one might say (2 Timothy 2:2).

Earning your influence

Should my sons preach, I want it to be because the congregation has seen them grow into diligent men who can be trusted to accurately handle the truth after putting in years learning to serve others. Such was not my experience.

In hindsight, it is crazy that anyone handed 24-year-old me a pulpit with no elders, effectively giving me the steering wheel to the congregation. People I had never met hired me because I had the requisite education and they liked my ability to present the Word, but I had not grown into that role. Churches should be installing leaders based on a trustworthy track record, not a Bible degree and some speaking skills.

To sum it up…

I love the church, and I know she needs preachers. I just can’t help but think the current system has set both preachers and congregations up for failure, or great difficulty at the very least.

Just as the celibacy of Catholic priests undermines much of what their church, in theory, should stand for, our current system of training, hiring, and compensating ministers makes it hard to have a strong family and multigenerational faith. This weakens the church, as the church’s strength is based heavily on strong families and intergenerational faith.

It also keeps the church from developing its own leadership pipeline, placing far too much on the shoulders of one man.

For these reasons, I will encourage my sons to choose a different path than the one I took.

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Notes

If you’re new here, check out my book Church Reset on Amazon!

And, while we’re on the topic of church leadership… my brother Joe and I are working on plans to start a men’s excellence program. It would not be a typical seminar, conference, or retreat but a tool to set up men to grow personally and as husbands, fathers, and servants of the church where they are. If you are interested in taking part, email me at jack@focuspress.org.

I’d also like to get feedback from church elders as we shape the program and possibly bring a few on as mentors, so if that’s you I hope you’ll consider reaching out, too.