Reading through Genesis to begin the year, I’m reminded once again what a brilliant book it is. It’s one of the great epics written in all of human history.
However, there is a prominent theme that runs throughout the book and trickles down into the rest of the Old Testament that is rather disheartening.
One might say the fall and the flood are the worst things about Genesis, but in a sense they are both downstream from the issue I want to discuss here.
The worst thing about Genesis is the utter lack of a functional family
Noah, Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob are all men of God who accomplished great things. Even Lot is called righteous in the New Testament (2 Peter 2:7). However, throughout the book we see giant episodes of family drama, one after another.
Abel was killed, Ham “exposed his father’s nakedness,” Hagar and Ishmael had to be kicked out, Esau made Jacob flee for his life, Joseph was sold into slavery… and those are just the big headlines. All in all, not much we can draw on as a positive example.
However, these things were “written for our instruction” (Romans 15:4), and negative examples do provide plenty of instruction.
We can learn a lot about what NOT to do from these first families of the faith:
Husbands abdicated leadership to their wives
I won’t spend much room on this as I wrote recently on Abraham deferring to Sarah. He wasn’t the only one, though. It started with Adam, of course. And Jacob created a giant mess in his own household by participating in Rachel and Leah’s (almost literal) arms race.
So, for as many great things as these men did, we can learn from them that men must take the helm to steer their home’s as God would see fit.
Incompatible spouses were a problem
There’s a great deal of debate around whether “unequally yoked” in 2 Corinthians 6:14 means Christians can only marry other Christians. But Genesis helps us see the issue clearly via real-world examples.
Abraham commanded his servant to find a bride for Isaac and made the servant swear that the woman would not come from among the Canaanites (Genesis 24:1-4). Instead, the servant had to travel all the way back to Abraham’s home land to find her. Isaac and Rebekah similarly counseled Jacob to avoid the local women in favor of those of their own people (Genesis 28:1-2).
Esau, on the other hand, married Hittite women. This immediately became a point of contention between him and his parents, and eventually led to him taking wives from the Ishmaelite side of the family as an ill-conceived attempt to fix his errors (26:34-35; 27:46-28:9).
Marrying outside the faith is one of those discussions that people always want to reduce down to “is it a sin?” (which I wrote on here). To get bogged down in that debate misses the obvious point from the Scriptures: it’s a terrible idea, and there’s no wisdom in it.
Sexual non-monogamy wrecked homes
Yes, God allowed polygamy in the Old Testament, but as Jesus told us, that was not His plan for man (Matthew 19:4-6). For anyone who thinks it’s a neutral practice or even a good idea, Genesis disagrees.
The first man to take multiple wives was Lamech, a villain if I’ve ever seen one (Genesis 4:19-24). When Sarah gave Hagar to Abraham for childbearing purposes, it created an enormous rift that’s still echoing today (Genesis 16). The sister war of Rachel and Leah and Jacob’s favoritism was a disaster for their household (Genesis 29-30). There is no good fruit to be found from abandoning the one man, one woman setup.
While polygamy is not an issue today, we can expect similar bad fruits from any deviation from God’s standard. Fornication and cohabitation are not mild transgressions for which the church can look the other way. Porn addiction or flirtatious extramarital relationships can divide a home just as bad as polygamy. Christian homes must have a fierce dedication to protecting a holy monogamy.
Parents were dishonored
Whatever happened between Noah and Ham (and possibly Canaan—9:22-24), we know at the very least he wasn’t honoring his father and mother. It’s no coincidence that the same man produced the Canaanites, the Amorites, the Egyptians, Babel, and Nineveh—you know, most of the Old Testament’s villains.
Reuben dishonored Jacob when he slept with one of his father’s concubines (35:22), a clear usurpation of authority that also helped drop him down the hierarchy and clear the way for Judah’s family to rule (49:4).
Yes, children have free will (as I’ve covered before). But it says something drastic about the parents if their children grow up to be adults who sow sexual discord in their own family. Our homes must be places where children are taught to honor father and mother (Ephesians 6:1-3).
Sibling rivalry
Murder (Genesis 4), mockery and banishment (ch. 21), deception and death threats (ch. 27), capture, intent to murder, and enslavement (ch. 37)… what an awful legacy.
As John noted, we can’t say we love God yet hate the brother in front of us (1 John 4:20)—which includes our literal brothers and sisters, too. Love starts at home, but in a world that divides families up by our phones and tablets and TV shows and fandoms and hobbies and interests, it’s easier than ever for everyone to share little more than a roof and a last name.
In those cases, siblings can be indifferent toward each other at best and hostile at worst. One of the surest signs of Christ’s love within the heart is seen in love for those directly in front of us, so we can’t let our homes be divided like this.
All things new
The beauty of Genesis is that many of these horrendous failures improve as time goes on. The divided, warring family is back together as a unit by the end, thanks almost entirely to Joseph’s faithfulness to God and his spirit of humility and forgiveness. His appearance as a type of Christ, and a correction of Adam’s errors, changes everything.
Even in the worst, most dysfunctional families, God is at work. Where any of the failures above are at play, we must shore up what’s lacking. It’s never too late to start doing the right thing.
On the other hand, all of these can also serve as warnings to those who may some day have a home of their own or are just starting out. Wise is the man who can learn from others’ failures and thereby save himself from the same troubles.
Notes
Don’t miss the Church Reset read-through series! New episodes every Friday on the Focus Press YouTube or the Church Reset podcast feed (Apple, Spotify, or your favorite podcast app)!
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Learning steps! Thank you, Jack.
Great essay! So many of the characters had great triumphs--and failures! I for one, am a Daniel fan, stayed steady to the end! I also like the "men" that are highlighted in the Psalms, such as Psalm 1, 71 and 112.