Dying to Self Looks a Lot Different than You Think

Prepare for inconvenience

Let’s say you’re 17 years old.

Adulthood lies before you. Who are you going to be? What are you going to do? What is your life going to look like?

Let’s take a look at your life through the lens of the prevailing wisdom of our day.

Before you even graduate, you need to know the most important thing you can do in the next 10 years. What is that?

Travel and have experiences! You need to see the world, and marriage and maybe even career-building would just be an inconvenience. (Don’t worry about that sexual temptation thing. It’ll work itself out.)

Ok, you got married. But don't have kids. You still have a life to build and experiences to make. They'd be an inconvenience.

Ok, so you had kids. But you'll want to bottle feed. Don’t worry about the nutrition though, just go with what’s convenient.

They don't sleep well? That's ok, experts say it’s fine to let them scream themselves to sleep. You wouldn't want to let them inconvenience you.

They won't stop trying to get your attention? Just stick an iPad in their hands or turn on the TV. That way they won't be an inconvenience.

They act up sometimes? Well, administering consistent discipline is both difficult and time-consuming. Sometimes they throw temper tantrums when you try to crack down on them. That’s super inconvenient, especially around other people. So, don’t discipline. Just try to appease them to get it to stop.

You want more time and money? Just stick them in daycare. Kids aren't very convenient for getting two incomes.

Time to start their education? Yeah, the Godless socialists have their tentacles in the teachers unions and textbook makers. But picking your own curriculum and teaching your own kid is inconvenient.

Yeah, you're probably supposed to be teaching them the Bible at home. But family devo time is so inconvenient. And kinda awkward. The Bible class teacher and youth minister will make them follow Christ.

Your son found his way into a porn addiction? Hand him a book. That oughta do it. Talking it out is so uncomfortable for you, and accountability checks are just too inconvenient.

Your daughter wants to walk out of the house half-dressed? Telling her to go change and throwing out the clothes would cause a serious meltdown. After all, you’re not letting her be like all of her friends. You’re the mean parent. Dealing with that fallout isn’t very convenient, so just look the other way.

At odds with your spouse? Just bury it and hope it goes away. Honest communication and making concessions to find a middle ground? That’s anything but convenient.

Not in a good place with your parents, siblings, or in-laws? That’s ok. You can just label them “toxic,” which is a fancy, expert word that means everybody else is the problem and you’re perfect. You don’t need to exert any effort to mend the relationships and build unity. Loving them is hard, and anything hard isn’t convenient.

Got a sin problem? Confessing and getting accountable is pretty embarrassing. Internet filtering software is expensive. Cutting ties with a friend who is pulling you away from Christ is hard. It’s a lot more convenient to keep flailing half-heartedly at the problem.

Reading your Bible and praying is so important. For sure. But life is really busy and it’s hard to fit it in after the 3 hour football game, half a season binge of your favorite show, and the 2 hour checkup of Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, and your favorite news sites. Devo time after all of that is kinda inconvenient.

Yeah, you should probably help out at church—volunteering to help put on an event, teaching a kids Bible class, showing up at a home Bible study, being hospitable, or the like. But if you do that, you or your kids will have to sacrifice one of your 7 hobbies and extracurriculars. What an inconvenience.

Sure, God probably wants you to develop your gift of serving, or encouraging others by calling or visiting, or evangelizing by looking for prospects and setting up studies, or teaching by immersing yourself in study and helping the congregation understand the Word better. But that all takes time and can be uncomfortable to get started. Yet another inconvenience.

After all, that's what really matters here—that I, as the protagonist of reality, live a life of perfect convenience.

Thank goodness we have so much modern wisdom that guards us from all of these worthless inconveniences.

…

Obviously, this was a rather tongue-in-cheek exercise aimed at pointing out one truth:

the god of our day is self.

We’ve brilliantly convinced ourselves that everything we want to do is good and everything we don’t want to do is bad and can be easily dismissed. At best we tell ourselves that none of these decisions are likely to matter much and so any choice we make is equal to any other.

You might quibble or outright disagree with one or two of the examples. That’s fine. Just don’t miss the collective point:

Dying to self means a mindset shift in which we stop living for our own pleasure and convenience and start putting God and others first.

Sacrifice is the system. There is no chance of drawing near to God, becoming sanctified, and being a light to others without sacrifice.

Stop thinking “what makes me happy” and start asking “What makes God happy?” That’s what Jesus did (John 8:29). Take up your cross, die to self, and follow in His footsteps (Luke 9:23).

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Notes

• In the return of Cultural Breakdown, I discuss the Trump/Musk split and how it’s a masterclass in how not to handle conflict. Watch or listen here.

• This week’s Think Deeper Podcast is an eye-opener. We interview Vince Boling, a man who saw Hollywood from the inside, acting alongside Oscar winners and working on set with studio heads and other movers and shakers. Goes live at 2 PM, so subscribe to the Focus Press channel or the Think Deeper Podcast feed to watch.

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