The Three Roadblocks to a Better Church

Stereotypes to avoid

For years I’ve been writing to urge the church to become less like a business and more like a family. Many Christians have shared with me that they have this same hope.

But despite this desire, it’s much easier said than done. Getting there is difficult because it is unfamiliar.

And, when any change must occur, problems have to be solved.

This week, let’s talk about three people who will be the biggest roadblocks in the church’s effort to be more of a family.

The first (and most obvious) roadblock will be the apathetic.

I’ve heard from Christians all over who are trying to invest more time in building a stronger church family only to be met by disinterest and unwillingness from their brothers and sisters. After years and years of comfortable, 2-3 hours per week commitment to the church, many don’t see the importance of striving for more.

But while they are the most obvious problem, they are the first hurdle and most easy to overcome. Positive momentum makes them either commit or, unfortunately, move out of the way.

The second roadblock will be indecisive leadership.

Many congregations don’t have an eldership, making leadership roles uncertain and without full authority. Plenty of others have elders who do not function as such, whether because members won’t tolerate decisive leaders or because the elders themselves are unsure of what authority they have.

One of the great lessons of 2020 is that the churches whose leadership prioritized the spiritual health of their congregations, acted decisively, and communicated clearly thrived through a difficult time.

Similarly, when we’ve been a church that has been less than what it could be, it will not be a populist movement that gets us back on track. Look to Old Testament leaders like Josiah, Ezra, and Nehemiah and their restoration efforts. They show us that a turnaround requires leaders with vision who take the authority given to them and chart a path forward.

And, groups of people take on the characteristics of their leaders. People will almost never rise above the actions of their leaders. If they do, those who do rise above become the de facto leaders as everyone begins to look to them.

Decisive leadership also goes a long way to solve the first problem—the apathetic—by pushing people to meet the vision cast. They set the tone that tells people, “There is no freeloading in this family.”

The third and final roadblock will be committed, stubborn members.

To be frank, some of the Christians who most vocally desire a more family-like church culture will be the ones who prevent it from happening.

Why? Because they won’t stomach decisive leadership. Their democracy-minded approach and insistence on having a seat at the table when decision making occurs means they won’t let anyone lead them.

We know the apathetic will be a challenge in building a closer church family, but at least with them we’re trying to get a stationary item moving. With those who are invested but unwilling to be team players, it’s much harder. They have to be stopped from pushing in the wrong direction before we can urge them to join in the collective effort.

Yes, we want to be a family, but we have to accept this reality: a family doesn’t work without an authority structure.

The children can have opinions and desires, and the parents should be aware of those. But the parents also get to decide if and when those opinions and desires will be granted, and when they will be denied.

But if the children or the wife throw a fit or threaten to leave when a decision they don’t like gets made, it’s not going to be a very tight-knit family.

To give a few examples…

Sometimes leadership is going to have to say no to your ideas for activities or efforts because those ideas would not fit with the leadership’s vision or the congregation’s resources. Sometimes leaders are going to have to ask somebody to take on a new role or step up in some way, maybe one that the person wouldn’t choose on their own. Sometimes leaders are going to have to confront a member regarding some way in which they aren’t being Christlike.

Good sheep will accept these confrontations, give thanks for their shepherds, and submit—even if they disagree. Strong-headed sheep will refuse to submit. Many will even start looking for a new church home.

This is where the rubber meets the road: if we say we want a true church family, we had better be ready to take on a submissive role. No family would work if everybody had equal say in the decisions.

As I’m writing so much on leadership on this site, I’ve been thinking a lot about those readers who are not in leadership and what their role is.

This is it—being the best sheep you can be, no matter how decisive and competent your leadership may or may not be—is what God expects from you. That’s the way you can help your church be a better place. Do not give grief to those who lead you (Hebrews 13:17).

I imagine I do not have many apathetic Christians reading here. But, if that is you, it’s time to commit.

If you’re a church leader leading decisively and with vision, God bless you and keep going. If you’re one who has been a bit too passive, use the authority God has given you to bless His people and lead your family.

I believe most readers here are committed members. To you, your role is to not dig your heels in and demand your own way. You might even be more knowledgeable than your leaders. And there is a time and place to take a stand. But in most cases, God put them where they are, and He put you where you are. Be a good example, use the influence you do have, and be the best sheep you can be.

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Notes

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