In Defense of “The Patriarchy”

It’s God’s design

The recent release of the Barbie movie has put a spotlight once again on one of our culture’s favorite scapegoats: “the patriarchy.”

I haven’t seen the movie (because I’m a grown man), but that’s ok—this post isn’t about the movie but about the common critique.

Progressives love to lay the blame for all of society’s ills at the feet of this system of “male dominance.” Because of this, many conservatives in both the religious and political senses, have become almost allergic to the concept of patriarchy.

I’m here to say I’m proudly pro-patriarchy, and I’m thankful to be part of what may be the church of Christ’s two most vocally pro-patriarchal podcasts.

Why?

Because patriarchy is God’s design. “Father rule,” the literal translation, is how we as a people were meant to operate, and when things go wrong it’s because fathers aren’t ruling, or because they are doing so poorly.

There’s a close correlation to libertarianism here. So many of us were drawn into it by watching a woefully incompetent (at best) or malicious (at worst) government. The only logical conclusion we could make was that government either needs to go, or to be pared down to almost nothing.

But the real answer is that government should be done well. Good governance is a blessing (Proverbs 11:11, 28:2, 29:2).

Similarly, the answer to a society run by weak, undisciplined, selfish men is not to abolish male leadership. It is to restore positive, virtuous male leadership. This is why I have been advocating so strongly for efforts to raise up a new elite in the home, church, and society. Without men of honor, we will be stuck in the mess we are in.

Men of honor who handle their responsibilities well and bless all who are under their care are God’s designed servants for a well-functioning world. That’s why returning to patriarchy is the answer.

I don’t intend to take on feminism here. Our Think Deeper episode on the issue is a good primer for that.

Instead, I want to push Christians who are on the fence back into the camp of patriarchy.

The Scourge of Complementarianism

Most conservative Christians have settled in to the position of complementarianism, which acknowledges some male and female differences and holds that certain roles are made for men and not women. Namely, those roles are elder, preacher, and head of the household. Beyond those, men and women are typically considered to be fit for all the same roles. Thus, it is the fence-riding position between patriarchy and feminism.

As Aaron Renn has usefully documented, this is a completely ahistorical stance that was hastily put together only within living memory. As feminism began to spread through society, leading evangelicals offered up complementarianism as a compromise position.

“Ok, we’re not misogynists. Men and women can keep on operating exactly how they want, as long as you leave the church and the home alone.”

There are three major problems with this compromise.

First, the world does not care for your compromise.

They see anything but total bowing of the knee as hatred of women. They criticize “the Patriarchy” when we haven’t had anything near patriarchy in decades. In fact, our whole decline has occurred in a time when men have relinquished their roles.

And yet patriarchy is still blamed thanks to the last vestiges that Christians and conservatives hang onto. Compromise appeases no one.

Second, and naturally following the first, compromise with people who aren’t looking for a compromise always ends in capitulation.

So now you have countless Christian couples who declare they are equal in every role. And you have plenty more who give lip service to male headship while the wife “wears the pants in the family.”

In like fashion, you have more and more churches giving in on female leadership while others are quietly driven by the demands and sensibilities of their female members as the men scramble to appease.

That’s really who the compromise was for—churchgoing women discipled by the feminist world. John Piper and Wayne Grudem didn’t have the fortitude to tell women to stop abandoning their families to compete with their husbands and go read Genesis 2, 1 Timothy 5, and Titus 2, so they gave them a pass by making Proverbs 31 about “have it all” Barbie imitators.

The compromise wasn’t a stopping point but a speed bump, as per usual.

Third, the compromise ignores natural order.

This is the key point at which most complementarians go wrong: they can tell you that God wants men to lead in marriage and the church, but they can’t tell you why. But God has made it abundantly clear both through natural (creation) and special (Bible) revelation.

And when you pay attention to those reasons, you begin to see that male and female suitability extends a lot farther than you think.

As I wrote recently, we mock progressives for not being able to answer “What is a woman?” when we can only say what they are not.

Just looking at men and women, you can see they are built for different purposes. When you get beneath the skin and into the brain, the differences become even more stark.

A person built from the ground up for nurturing feelings and avoiding conflict is not a good fit for political or military leadership (or even business leadership).

This is why God chose a string of male leaders of home, temple, and nation throughout the Bible. And, it’s why He called the rule of women as a sign of judgment on a nation (Isaiah 3:12).

Whether we like God’s design or not, it is undeniable that things work better when we follow it. He made us, so He knows far better than we do how we should act, think, and speak.

I intend to answer anticipated objections and offer some caveats as to what I do and don’t mean, but my time is incredibly short right now and that will have to wait until next week. Make sure you’ve subscribed to receive the article when I publish it.

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Content rundown:

• Think Deeper Podcast on challenging questions about alleged Bible contradictions

• Who Let the Dogma Out? podcast on how we’ve severely underused the Psalms

• Guest sermon I did at Beltline in Decatur, AL called “Check Your Pockets.” It’s one of my favorites to share with folks.

• All kinds of new content at Focus+, including a soon to be released Revelation class taught by my brother Joe Wilkie and yours truly