Chip Gaines, the Coldplay Couple, and When to Judge
Why give one a pass?
This week’s social media discourse has been dominated by two major stories, both of them involving sinful marital behavior.
Normalizing gay marriage
The first occurred when the trailer for Chip and Joanna Gaines’ new show came out and featured a pair of “married” men and their two adopted sons as one of the three competing “families.” The Gaines’ have long been known as people of faith, and a significant chunk of their support has come from people of faith. So, with this serious departure, questions would be asked.
A vocal Christian backlash immediately sprang up, and the backlash met a counter-backlash from Gaines and others who supported him.
“Why are you platforming a couple who are living in sin?” (Romans 1:26-27) was the main gist of the challenges. Chip Gaines fired back with tweets about judgmental Christians who opposed him without listening or asking questions—as if there were anything left to explain. Plenty of churchgoing folks came to the Gaines’ defense, insisting that it’s not our job to judge or condemn or tell people they’re wrong, and that God just wants us to love people.
(Check out next Monday’s Think Deeper Podcast for more on this story.)
Caught at a Concert
The second case featured a tech CEO and his female HR director, who were featured getting cozy on camera at a Coldplay concert. Immediately upon seeing themselves on the big screen they let go of each other and ducked for cover. Even Coldplay frontman Chris Martin was taken aback, saying “Either they’re having an affair, or they’re just very shy.”
The two alleged adulterers spent the entire day being roasted and memed by the Twitter mob. Questions abounded as to what the CEO’s wife and the HR director’s husband must have been going through upon seeing that.
Oddly, nobody seemed to have a problem judging this couple.
Nobody was rushing to their defense or insisting we listen to their experiences and ask questions before saying “Wow, that looks really bad.” No one is elbowing into the conversation with “love the sinner, hate the sin,” or “Jesus sent us to love people, not to fix them.”
Weird, right?
I assume it comes down to the individualistic golden rule of our day—do what thou wilt, so long as it doesn’t hurt anybody else. The two men have each other’s full consent, and the allegedly adulterous couple could be wrecking their spouses’ and kids’ lives. Thus, the one is fine and the other is worthy of derision, the thinking goes.
Two major problems with the world’s standard
First, we don’t get to do whatever we want, regardless of who it does or does not hurt.
If God says it’s wrong, it’s wrong. And though we don’t force the gay couple to break up or berate them or refuse to acknowledge their existence, we can certainly avoid pretending their lifestyle is normal and healthy.
Second, normalizing gay marriage absolutely hurts other people.
The two boys adopted by that couple did not consent to having a life without a mom, but rather two men who sodomize each other and belong to a community of degeneracy.
The culture itself is also harmed by the normalization of that which is destructive. People have been catechized by the TV into thinking this is normal for 30+ years now. Are we a healthier society for it? How is the family doing? How are our birth rates? How are we looking on stats like porn and STDs? How’s our collective mental health? Sexual degeneracy absolutely harms a family, but its ripples harm a lot more than just one household.
As Christians, it’s our job not to pick and choose when the culture is ok with us condemning an act. What this week has taught us is that their standard is hopelessly wishy-washy, totally subject to personal whims and permission. Only an objective standard can give people a firm ground for morality and social cohesion.
Thankfully, we have such a standard. And we shouldn’t be ashamed of it.
Faithful, joyful, heterosexual monogamy for life is that gold standard (Matthew 19:4-6). No, life doesn’t always work out perfectly. Bad things happen. But that shouldn’t prevent us from upholding this ideal.
Anything that rebels against that standard hurts people, and we should love them enough to let them know—even if they think it makes us judgmental.
Notes
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I always laugh when people use the argument that Jesus never says anything about homosexuality. He may have not said the word directly, yet He did say that marriage is between a man and a woman, that eliminates all other options.
Excellent analysis. It's amazing how universally the couple at the concert was condemned. Deep down, everyone knows that there is some universal truth and standard of morality, they just don't want to acknowledge what it really is.