4 Lessons You’re Teaching Your Kids About The Church
Whether you know it or not
“Actions speak louder than words,” and “Kids will do what you do, not what you say” are two clichés we all understand, but sometimes need to take more seriously.
This is particularly applicable when it comes to what we do as Christians.
Every choice you make as a church member teaches your children an important lesson about the church.
Here are four of the biggest lessons they are learning from your words and actions.
You teach them the importance of the church by committing to attend.
They need to see that church is a non-negotiable part of our lives and that God comes first in all things. When attendance is optional and we let all kinds of other activities take precedence, we shouldn’t be surprised when the church doesn’t matter to them as they become independent and make their own decisions.
You teach them what matters in a church by your choice of where to attend.
If you choose a congregation because the lessons make you feel good, their takeaway will be that making people feeling good is the point of the church.
If you choose one because of the offerings they’ve catered to you, you teach them that the church is an organization that is there to serve the individual rather than the other way around.
If you choose one purely because it’s a convenient distance from home, they’ll learn that the character of the church matters far less than our own comfort.
When it’s time to choose a congregation to be a part of, two reasons should outrank all the others: biblical teaching, and opportunities to serve. From these they’ll learn that the Bible is of utmost importance and that we are servants of the church, not customers.
You teach them by your words the value of Christ’s church.
If they hear us lifting up our church family in prayer, speaking well of them, and praising them, they will see the value of having a church family. On the other hand, if they hear us picking apart the preacher or the song leader or sharing the latest gossip or speaking negatively about our fellow members, it will teach them all kinds of bad attitudes.
It will teach them to think of themselves as superior to others. It will teach them to be judgmental. And, ultimately, it will teach them to have little value or love for their church family.
Instead, we must find ways to teach our children to love the people who make up the church. Speak highly of your brothers and sisters. See the good. Encourage them and build them up when you’re together.
Though the people around us are never perfect, we can teach our children to love as Jesus loved by caring about our church family. And, we teach them humility and grace when we show them the importance of loving people through the ups and downs.
You teach them by your fellowship that the church truly is a family.
When we tell people that church is a family and then only see each other briefly each week, know little about each other, and rarely help build each other up and bear each other’s burdens, they’ll start to see “church family” as little more than a weak metaphor.
Teach your kids that you mean it when you call your fellow members your family. Have your fellow Christians in your home. Attend the funerals and weddings with your kids in tow. Pray as a family for the needs of the people in your church. Teach the kids to shake hands and remember names at worship.
One way or another, they’ll learn
We want our kids to love what we love and carry on our values and traditions. But of all of these, the church must be first. What shall it profit a kid if he can root for the family sports teams, make the family recipes, and yet forfeit his soul?
The same way you pass on those other traditions is how you pass on the faith. Show your kids you love the church. Show them that participation is important to you. Show them that God matters above all else in your family. Deuteronomy 6 practices create a Deuteronomy 6 people. Teach your kids to love God and His church.
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Notes
Don’t forget, you can get my latest book You Are Saved: The Christian’s Assurance FREE!
This week’s Think Deeper Podcast covers the parallels between Israel’s Divided Kingdom and modern day America, with lessons for churches, families, and today’s Christians.
Really good and encouraging words! So many good points!! Yes it really matters how we hear other people talk about the church. I'm so very thankful for my Christian family, I truly don't know what I would do if I didn't have them!!!!
And I think a little bit differently about it than I used to, instead of thinking about church as something I "go to", I think of it as a group of people I assemble with.
Amen! Amen and Amen! I have been speaking out about this since all the "seeker sensitive," "purpose driven" drivel started in the early 1990's about what we were doing to our churches, families and children (those children are our millennials today) and people were more concerned about entertainment "worship" and nickels and noses. It is sad to see what all those seeds have grown to be. Our children (and families) have suffered for it.